Kim Possible: So the Self Insertion
by Desslock3
Summary: A guy from the real world gets sucked in to the Kim Possible universe and brings chaos, confusion, and comedy with him.  Hopefully they can find a way to send him home before he drives them all nuts.
1. Chapter 1

AN: This fic is a bit tongue in check since I thought it would be funny to make it a bit self insertion. Like all great works, my self inserted OC has all of a cough 2 cough resemblance to myself. I for one consider this to be part one of a three part comedy, but depending on what you think of my writing skills, well some of you might consider this part one of a three part tragedy. Also a big thanks to King in Yellow for letting me borrow his Best Enemies universe to set this fic in. Even though this story takes place after A Simple Jewish Wedding, it has no continuity with it.

**KIM POSSIBLE: SO THE SELF INSERTION**

Chapter 1: Through the Looking Glass

I.

"Drew, are you sure about this?" Wade asked.

"Yes I'm sure. What can go wrong?" The now reformed evil scientist responded.

Wade could only shake his head in frustration. They two of them had been working for months on their newest project, a short range teleporting device. If it worked it would mean a revolution in transportation that when compared to the internal combustion engine would be like comparing a rubber band propeller and a jet engine. Or at least it would once they got the bugs worked out and were actually able to teleport something through it. "Ok Drew, fire it up."

"Nah, no, I'm not going to do it," Drakken whined.

Oh great, Wade thought, he's throwing another hissy fit. "Now why not?"

"Not until you call me doctor."

"Oh come on, we've been over this already."

"Either you call me doctor or I won't power up the Worldwide Teleportation Facilitator." Drew said as he put his foot down both figuratively and literally.

"Drew, your not a real doctor, heck you didn't even finish your bachelors degree." Wade countered.

As the two of them continued to argue back and forth, neither one of them noticed the receding sound of thunder. Nor did they notice that the lighting bolt, which had preceded the thunderclap had also produced 1.26 gigawatts of electricity that was now racing around the wiring of the former lair turned Lipsky and Load LLC headquarters looking for the path of least resistance. Unfortunately, the super conductive high voltage cables attached to the circular, since it was always easier to create and maintain a circular dimensional rift than any other shape, and vaguely "Stargate" looking device that was known as the WTF provided that path of least resistance.

"For the last time I'm not going to call you doctor," Wade shouted.

The young teen genius, who really had earned his PhD, was about to say something else when he noticed that the WTF was powering up. "Uh Drew, did you hit the power button by mistake?"

"Of course not!" Drew replied indigently. "I, the great Dr. Drew Lipsky would never do such a thing."

"Then how come the WTF," Wade really did hate the shorthand name for their device, "is powering up?"

"Uhhh." Was all Drew could say in response.

Spinning around to face his computer Wade began to become worried by the unstable readings he was getting. "Drew, shut it down."

"Some genius you are. How am I supposed to do that when I didn't even turn it on?" Drew argued.

"Well we had better find a way to shut it off, because it looks like something is coming through."

Not two seconds after completing his warning there was the sound of screeching tires and the sound of a crash followed by smoke and the triggering of the lab's fire suppression system. As the halon gas filled the room and deprived any potential fire of oxygen it did the same to the room's occupants. Even as Wade felt like the oxygen had been sucked out of his lungs, he was glad that he had replaced Drakken's cheap water sprinkler system with the more expensive inert gas version given the amount of high voltage wires they had running all over the place.

II.

Jayson was happy, he had finally finished paying off his car and now had the pink slip for it. He was so happy in fact that he even indulged himself and was singing along to the radio in his car as it speed down the road. But he was even happier that no one was in the car to hear his off key singing "Yeah I'm running down a dream, going where ever it leads, running down a dream". Jayson was in his happy place, or in the zone as the endless miles of the road lay before him, so much so that he didn't notice the bright light that appeared on the road in front of him until it was too late. All he could do was close his eyes, slam on the breaks, and hope for the best.

III.

"Boss, are you ok?" One of Drakken's former henchmen turned legitimately employed security guards asked as he helped his blue skin boss out of the smoke filled lab.

"Yes, no thanks to Wade in there." He replied sarcastically. If Wade wasn't going to call him doctor then he wouldn't return the favor.

"Is Dr. Load still in there?" The guard asked worriedly. He liked the kid, and in many ways the former henchmen had him to thank for their jobs.

"I don't know."

Heading in to the lab, the henchman was glad to see that the new ventilation system had cleared out most of the smoke. Making his way towards the massive row of computers along the far wall, the guard soon found his other boss.

"Are you okay, Dr. Load?"

"I'm cough cough fine. But go check the car and see if there's anyone in it."

He didn't know why the two of them had a car in the lab, or how it even had fit through the front door with out any one noticing it. But then again a lot of strange things happened when ever those two decided to play mad scientist in the lab. He quickly found the car and could tell that I was a total loss, while a quick searched proved that there was indeed a driver in the car and that he was still strapped to his seat, his head resting against the steering wheel and its deflated air bag.

IV.

"Ow, my head." Jayson complained as he felt his eyes being assaulted by a bright light. After a few more seconds both his vision and head had cleared enough that Jayson could see that the offending bright lights were ceiling mounted and that he was laying on his back.

"Mr. Lipsky, Dr. Load, he's awake."

Hmm, a female voice, this is a promising start, Jayson thought to himself as the owner of the voice came in to view.

"Hi there, how are you feeling?"

"Well better than I was about ten seconds ago." Jayson said with a slight smile as he sat up before bringing his hand to his chest.

"Are you hurt?"

"I don't think so, just sore across my chest. Probably where my seat belt tightened up and restrained me. I'll probably have a bit of a bruise there."

"Okay. Well my name is Rosita, but my friends call me Zita. I work for Lipsky and Load Limited."

"I'm Jayson, nice to meet you," he said while offering his hand.

"Ahh I see our visitor is awake. You realize that you destroyed my greatest invention yet. I will demand repayment, I will demand restitution, I…."

"But a sock in it Drew," A short and slightly round young black man said as he came to stand next to the taller and much bluer colored man.

Looking at the two men, Jayson was a bit surprised. "He's blue." Jayson said pointing towards Drew, "Does that mean we need to get the jaws of life?"

"Wah?" Drew exclaimed.

"Don't worry he's okay." Zita reassured him.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Wade Load." Wade said as he extended his hand to Jayson.

"Jayson," he said shaking it.

"And the blue guy is Drew."

"Actually that's Dr. Lipsky."

"What ever." Wade said as he rolled his eyes.

"As curious as I am about how he picked up the Smurf look, I'm even more curious as to what happened to me. One minute I'm driving down the road, the next I find my self laying on the floor being greeted by a beautiful woman and Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum. I'll let you two fight over who is who." His last statement brought a smile to Zita. "Wait a second. Did you say Drew Lipsky, as in AKA Dr. Drakken." Jayson asked.

"Ahh so you have heard of me." Drew replied with an obvious smile.

Jayson then turned his attention towards Wade, "And you're Wade, the computer guru and brains behind Team Possible." When Wade nodded his head Jayson continued. "You all sound the same, but you look different, like you've grown a bit. In fact everyone looks older than I remember them."

"You sound like you've met us before. But I don't ever remember meeting you. Drew, Zita, have you ever meet Jayson before?" Wade asked.

"I can't say the face looks familiar, the name doesn't ring a bell either. So he must not be all that important." Drew said while dismissively waving his hand.

"I don't remember ever meeting him either." Zita confessed before suggesting, "But maybe Kim knows him, after all she's meet so many people all over the world."

"Where did you meet Kim? Was it during one of her missions?" Wade's curiosity about the newcomer was growing stronger the more he talked to him.

"Oh well you see it's like this," Jayson said nervously as he scratched the back of his head. "I've never actually meet Kim or any of you people before."

"Obviously delusional." Drew dismissed as he tossed what looked like a piece of hard candy in to his mouth.

"Says the former megalomania evil scientist as he pops his meds." Wade retorted.

"Wade, you hurt me with your words." Drew shot back and soon the two were bickering like an old married couple, again.

"Okay, so if you've never actually meet Kim or any of us, then how do you know us, and what did you mean when you said we all looked older than you remember?" Zita asked as she ignored her employers.

"Oh yeah, about that. Well you see I first saw Kim and et al. on the Disney channel, a cartoon called Kim Possible." Jayson answered somewhat sheepishly.

V.

"Let's review," Wade said to the people assembled around the table in the lair's conference room, "Some how an electrical surge…"

"Caused by a lighting bolt which added 1.26gigawatts to the current that was in the wiring." Drakken interrupted.

"And some how activated the WTF…"

"The Worldwide Teleportation Facilitator."

"But the power was more than we've ever run through it before," Wade continued while ignoring the interruption, "So it activated the WTF and somehow opened a portal or doorway of some kind."

"Which happened to appeared on the road in front of my car back in my real world." Jayson added.

"Universe actually." Drakken corrected.

"What?"

"Your world is Earth, just like this one, just as real, only it's from a different plane of reality, another universe if you will. All of which exists with in the multiverse."

"Now you're just making that up to sound smart. Why can't you just call it pan-dimensional?" Wade challenged. For all of his superior IQ, the fact of the matter was that Wade's area of expertise was with computers and robotics, but things like cosmology, string theory, and the Heisenberg Uncertainty principle as they related to pan-dimensional phenomena were more up Drew's alley than his.

"No he's right." Jayson defended despite Wade's skeptical look. "What? I'll admit, I've played the Rift's RPG before, and that's what they call all the different dimensions, the "multiverse". Besides mulitverse sounds cooler than pan-dimensional."

Zita, who was known to partake in MMOG games like Everlot her self, couldn't help but to smirk as she whispered, "Nerd alert."

"Takes one to know one." Jayson staged whispered back.

"Trying to keep things on track here," Wade interjected, "The result was that Jayson's car was teleported from his universe, in which we all exist merely as cartoon characters, to ours, and that it came through the WTF…"

"Worldwide Teleportation Facilitator," Drakken insisted again.

"And wrecked half of our lab when it crashed." Wade finished.

"And I still demand restitution."

"Restitution? Dude my car is sitting in there a total wreck, and I just paid it off." Jayson complained as he waved around the crumpled pink slip. "Tell you what, have your lawyer call my lawyer and we'll discuss it." Jayson smirked, "Oh that's right, my lawyer is back in my universe, where you're just a cartoon, so guess you can't then can you, "Bender."

"Wah?" Drew said in obvious confusion at being called Bender.

"Which brings up our next issue." Wade said, "When Jayson's car wrecked our lab it also wrecked most of our equipment. It may take weeks to repair the…"

"WTF!" Jayson exclaimed.

"I was getting to that." Wade was now quit annoyed at being interrupted, yet again.

"No, I mean What The F…."

"Excuse me, language. There is a lady present." Zita demanded.

"As I was saying, the teleporter is broken, so we can't send Jayson home yet." Wade finally finished.

"So you're saying that I'm stuck here." Jayson asked.

"Well only until we get the WTF fixed."

"And how long will that take?"

"Drew and I spent months working on it last time. So it's hard to say, it could be weeks, maybe months."

"He he, yeah months." Drew chuckled nervously. What he didn't want them to know was that depending on which components of the WTF were broken, they may never be able to fix the device. Especially if any of the broken components were parts that he "borrowed" from the pan-dimensional vortex inducer the last time he had stolen it from Dr. Dementor.

"You think that's funny?" Jayson asked angrily.

"Well no, it's just that…"

"It's what? Funny as in ha ha, or funny because it's me and not you. Funny because I'm the one stuck here and your not." Jayson demanded as he brought his fist down on the table.

"No it's not that."

"Then what? Funny because you're still here and didn't leave the people you care about, your family and friends."

"No, all I'm saying is…"

"That's it, now you're going to get it." Jayson said as he leapt towards Drew. Soon the two were lost in a cloud of dust and flying arms that would have made the Goodfeathers proud.

"Easy there, we'll do our best to get you home as soon as possible." Wade reassured the new comer.

"So what am I to do in the mean time?" Jayson asked as he returned to his seat.

"Get a hotel room and we'll call you when the Worldwide Teleportation Facilitator is fixed." A disheveled Drew, who now sported a black eye and an off kilter bandage around his head, offered.

"Well I hope you're willing to pay for it "Brother Blood" since I have all of," Jayson quickly looked in to his wallet, "all of forty three dollars to my name. Unless there happens to be a me in this universe who happens to have the exact same credit card number. And even then I don't think he'll be too amused at someone charging things to his account."

"That's a good point." Wade conceded.

"Mr. Lipsky, Dr. Load, can I make a request?" Zita spoke up. "Can we let Jayson stay here while you fix the WTF? There's more than enough room now that the henchmen dorm is empty." Zita then took a deep breath as she put on what could best be described as cross between the PDP and a damsel in distress look before continuing. "I know what its like to have no where to go and no where to stay. I was lucky and was able to turn to Ron and Kim for help when I left my husband. But Jayson has none of that." Yeah it was cheating to exploit the protective nature of her two male bosses, but Zita knew it was for a good cause.

"Uggh, no fair using your womanly charms like that." Drew complained. "At least when Shego wanted something she would just threaten me with her plasma."

Drew had been in a rather bitchy mood all day long, maybe he needed to have his meds adjusted, Wade thought to himself. The only reason he didn't say it out loud was that he had to admit that he agreed with Zita. Not so much because it was the right thing to do, which it was, but because he knew that if Kim and Shego found out that they had turned Jayson out on the streets then both he and Drew would be on the receiving end of sixteen kinds of plasma kung-fu.

As Jayson watched this, two thoughts came to his mind, the first was that wondered what Zita's back story about leaving her husband was. The second was the old saying 'if your not cheating then you're not trying.'"

VI.

"Here's your room, it should meet your needs for the next few weeks till Wade and Drew can send you home." Zita said with a smile as she showed Jayson to the old dorm room that used to house Drakken's former henchmen. The room wasn't much, a large open room with four sets of bunk beds in it and eight wall lockers. Off to one side was a small washroom which contained a row of three sinks, a single door less toilet stall, and a single shower.

"Great, just like my old Army days. Thanks a fuc…" Jayson said flatly.

"Excuse me, language." Zita interrupted sharply.

"Sorry, old habits." Jayson said a bit sheepishly.

"You don't sound too appreciative."

"It's not that I'm not. It's just that I'm still having a hard time believing that I was sucked in to an alternate reality where a cartoon I like to watch is your reality. It's enough to make me think I'm going crazy."

"If it makes you feel any better then we can see if Kim's mom will give you a brain scan." Zita said with a smile.

Jayson wasn't sure if Zita was being serious or not and could only stare at her. "Please don't tell me she wears a blond wig and goes by the nickname Pickles."

"Ahh no." Zita answered in confusion, "But I'm just messing with your head."

"Oh great, here I am in an alternate reality and your making jokes about my mental health. I feel the love." Jayson chuckled.

"See, it's not that bad if you can laugh about it."

"Well I can either laugh about it or cry about, and lets face it, its just not dignified to see a grown man cry." Jayson smirked. "But it's still pretty depressing. I'm stuck in an alternate reality, taken away from my friends and family with no way of knowing if or when I might return."

"I can sort of understand."

"Don't tell me you were pulled through a worm hole too."

Zita slowly shook her head no. "No, I live here in this universe. But I know what it's like to lose touch with your friends, family, and the people you care about."

"What do you mean?"

Zita spent the next hour explaining how after high school she had gone to work full time, meet her future husband, and why she left him, as she helped Jayson make his room livable.

"I can't just stay here and mooch off of Wade and Drew. Is there something I can do to make myself useful? You know, to help them help me." Jayson asked.

"Well I work as both their receptionist and as their cleaner. But I don't know what sort of jobs they might be able to give you."

"Not the first time I've pushed a broom for a living."

"What have you done for a living?"

"Let's see, I've been in law enforcement, a soldier, a teacher, a clerk, a contractor, a search and rescue crew member, a movie usher, a full time student, and at one point I was even a bum." Jayson said proudly.

Zita blinked at the list before commenting, "Wow, you really can't hold down a job can you?"

Needless to say Jayson's ego deflated faster than a balloon at the end of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.

VII.

"So, Zita tells me that you wish to be employed by us." Drew said as he sat in his chair, his fingers steepled together and gazing upon Jayson as though he was a child.

"Employed is one way to put it. I prefer to think of it as earning my keep around here, Fu Dog." Jayson replied.

"I see, and just what sort of skills would you bring to Lipsky and Load?" Drew had given up on trying to figure out why their newest burden kept calling him different names.

"Well first of all, I'm flexible, I'll take what ever you give me. Even if that's little more than pushing a broom around."

"We already have a maid." Drew said dismissively.

"And a quite attractive one at that, but that's neither here nor there is it? The real question is can she alone clean this place properly? Not likely since as I understand it she also works as a receptionist for you."

"A valid point."

"Plus, looking at your diminutively sized hands, I would surmise that you and Dr. Load could use a lab assistant who is capable of hauling around heavy equipment in addition to pushing a broom."

Drew didn't know whether or not to be more insulted by the diminutive hands comment or the Dr. Load comment. But then he began to smile like the Grinch as an idea came to his mind.

"I'll tell you what. I'll convince Wade to hire you on as a lab assistant, on one condition."

"And that would be?"

Indicating for Jayson to lean closer, Drew quickly whispered his idea to the young man.

"I can see why you were considered an evil genius." Jayson said with a smile of his own.

VIII.

"Jayson!" Drew hollered without even looking up from the circuit board he was working on.

"What is it boss?"

"I need you to bring me the box that has our spare circuit boards in them."

"No problemo." Jayson said as he headed off to find the requested item.

"Drew," Wade said as he walked up to his 50/50 business partner. "I know we agreed that letting Jayson stay where until we fixed the WTF was the decent thing to do, and I know out of the kindness of our hearts we hired on Zita to work for us. But now you go and hire someone else to do basically the same thing that she does."

"So, it's not like we're paying Jayson." The ever penny pinching Drew Lipsky replied.

"It's not that Drew, but we're supposed to be partners here. 50/50. We make all decisions together."

"And you weren't here yesterday, so I made the decision with out you. Besides, what are you going to do? Tell him he can't help out and just has to sit around all day and wait while we work on the WTF?"

Wade sighed in defeat. He knew that Drew was right, and that had he been there he would have made the same decision. It just galled him when ever a little of the old egotistical Dr. Drakken would emerge and try to run things his way.

"Fine, just remember that Kim is bringing Joss by later today so that I can help her with her science fair project."

"Really now do you think that someone of my great intellectual capacity would forget a simple detail like that?"

Wade ignored him as he turned and walked away, which shielded Drew's evil smile from his field of view.

"Here are the spare parts you wanted." Jayson said as he placed a box of parts on Drew's workbench. With a simple wink from Drew, Jayson understood that it was time.

Leaving the lab Jayson used Drew's cell phone to place a quick call. Twenty five minutes later operation Overly Convoluted Design (OCD) began in earnest.

"Ms. Flores, theirs a pizza guy here with a delivery for you." Joe, one of Drakken's former henchmen, called from the front door.

"But I didn't order any pizza." Zita said in confusion.

"Something wrong?" Jayson asked.

"They're telling me theirs a pizza boy out front saying I ordered a pizza. But I don't remember ordering a pizza."

"Well maybe it's a mistake. Tell you what," Jayson said as he pulled out a ten, "I didn't have any plans for lunch, if nobody else claims it then I'll go halves on it."

"Ok, but I didn't order a pizza." Zita insisted.

After Zita had left her receptionist desk, which was in direct line of sight of the entrance to the lab, Jayson than followed up with the next step of OCD. He opened up a small storage closet and pulled out the item he had hidden in there and quickly placed it inside the lab before Zita could return.

Hearing the lab door open and then close, Drew looked up and smiled as he saw that OCD was proceeding smoothly. The hardest part of his plan had been getting the right clothing for it, but fortunately marriage hadn't ruined the woman's appreciation for a good practical joke. Now, as the properly clothed and configured Bebe robot made it's way across the lab toward the unsuspecting Wade, all Drew had to do was sit back and watch the show.

Working diligently on the equipment in front of him, Wade was too focused on trying to finish his work before his guests arrived to notice that someone had walked up behind him. Or at least that was until he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist.

"Wade, you're looking good. I'm impressed, you must really be sticking to my diet and exercise regime."

"S, S, Shego?" Wade sputtered as he attempted to disentangle himself from the pair of arms and turn around to face his "attacker".

"That's my name don't wear it out." Shego said with a not quite innocent smile.

Having extricated himself from the grip around him, Wade got an eyeful of "Shego". She was wearing a low cut green tank top that was cinched together by a black denim skirt. A pair of black boots clashed with her knee high green socks. Her hair was seductive tucked behind one ear as she batted her eyes at the young genius.

"Shego, what are you doing here? I thought Kim and Joss were supposed to come by."

"Oh don't worry about them."

Meanwhile, outside the lab, OCD was beginning to accelerate.

"Decided to accept the pizza anyways?" Jayson asked as Zita returned carrying a pizza box.

"No because I didn't order it."

"Well you brought it back."

"Well here is your half of the pizza, Joe took the other half."

"See, no big deal, you're not even out any money." Jayson smiled as he accepted the pizza box. "Well I have to get some more equipment for Drew and Wade, so I'll just take my lunch in there. Catch you later."

Zita was waving goodbye to her co-worker when the sound of a pair of footsteps approach her desk.

"Hi Zita." Kim said to her friend as both she and Joss gave a small wave. "Is Wade in the lab?"

"Yes he is. Do you want me to take you two back there?"

"Please and thank you."

As the lab door opened to admit the three women they soon saw a sight none of them were expecting. There, pinned against his work bench, Wade was struggling to escape the amorous advances of the pale skinned women they all knew as…

"Shego! What are you doing?" Kim demanded.

"Oh hi Kimmie, I'm just having a little fun." Shego said with a sly smile.

"Wade, how could you?" Joss yelled.

"It's not my idea." Wade tried to defend him self.

"Oh don't try to play coy Wadey boy." Shego purred.

"Shego, stop this instant!" Kim yelled as she approached the two.

"Ahh, don't tell me that your jealous. Hey Drew, Kimmie here is jealous." Shego announced even as Drew attempted to get her to be quite.

"Drew!" Kim shouted.

"I had nothing to do with this, I swear." Drew said as an awfully angry and assuredly annoyed Kim approached him.

Sitting above it all as he watched the scene from an overhead ledge, Jayson munched on his pizza as he enjoyed the show.

Deciding that if he was going down that he wasn't going down alone, Drew did want any person would do when trying to save their skin, they shifted the blame.

"You can't just blame me. I had help. Jayson was in on this too!" Drew shouted.

"Who?" Kim asked?

"Jayson, our new lab assistant." Wade filled in. "Jayson are you in here?"

"Wades question was answered by a blur as a certain young man jumped from his hiding spot and dashed through the lab doors before anyone could stop him.

"How come I've never met this Jayson before?" Kim asked.

"Oh don't worry Kim you will. I'll bring him by this Saturday for our usual poker game." Wade said as an characteristically evil smile formed on his face.

"But Wade, if he just pulled a prank on you, why do you want to invite him over to play poker?" Joss asked.

Wade only smiled more before answering, "Because my dear Joss, pay back is a bit..."

"Excuse me, language, there are ladies present." Zita announced from seemingly out of no where.

AN: Just what does Wade have in mind? Will it quench his thirst for vengeance? And just how will Kim, Shego, and company react to meeting this strange little man named Jayson? Find out in the next exciting chapter of Kim Possible: So the Self Insertion.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Well boys and girls, here we are with another fun filled furiously funny filled fic. This is part two of three of my comedy, or tragedy, depending on how you look at it. Again I thank King in Yellow for letting me play with his toys.

KIM POSSIBLE: SO THE SELF INSERTION

Part 2: Follow The Queen, Jokers Wild.

I.

"Jayson, how would you like to join us tonight?" Wade asked.

"Umm, that's quite a loaded statement, no pun intended. But what did you have in mind?" Jayson asked.

"Well Saturday night is our usual poker night at the Possible Manor. Since you'll be staying here with us for a while I thought it might be the nice thing to do is to invite you to join us in our festivities."

"You mean the straight and narrow Kim Possible plays poker? And by the Possible manor, I assume you mean Mr. and Mrs. Dr. P's place."

"Oh yeah, that's right, you haven't met the Kim Possible from our universe yet." Wade said with a small smile.

"Wait, don't tell me, she's different than the one I know, so now she's some conceded stuck up b.."

"Excuse me, language." Zita seemed to shout from somewhere else in the lair.

"Er, witch like Bonnie." Jayson finished.

"No. But I guess you'll find out tonight."

"What? You're not going to tell me so you can watch me squirm when my sense of reality is further destroyed? Did Drew put you up to this?" Jayson asked only half joking as he glared at Wade.

"Well look at the time, got to go and get to work on the WTF. Later." Wade said as he quickly retreated towards the lab.

II.

Later that day four people stood in front of the door to the large house know as the Possible Manor.

"For the last time we're not going to tell you anything." Drew said as he crossed his arms.

"Want to bet." Jayson said as he grabbed the "reformed" mad scientist by the scruff of his neck.

"Nah, you promised not to hurt me." Drakken pleaded.

"He's right, you did make that promise." Wade added.

"And you believed me? You act like you've never been lied to before." Jayson retorted.

"Jayson, you did make that promise, so let him go." Zita said in her no non sense way.

"Usually I'm able to scare Drakken with my bluff by now," Jayson lamented as he released him. "So come on Zita, you're not going to keep me in the dark too are you?"

"Sorry Jayson, but I promised both Mr. Lipsky and Dr. Load not to tell you anything till we arrived." Zita said with a smile since she knew the surprise that he would be in for momentarily.

Just then the door opened to reveal both Kim and Shego standing there, each of them holding one of their daughters in their arms.

"Drew, you're early." Shego said.

"Yes, well we wanted to make sure we had time to introduce our guest that we told you about. This is Jayson." Drew said as he indicated towards the man. "Jayson, meet Kim Possible, Shego, and their daughters Sheki and Kasy."

Jayson could only stand there for a moment or two before he said the first thing that came to his mind, "Wow, their MILFs." This wasn't the first time, or the last time, that Jayson would pull a Don Imus and prove that he had the fasted foot in mouth reflex this side of Bejing.

"Excuse me, what's a MILF?" Kim asked.

Shego then leaned over and whispered in to Kim's ear, which caused the red head to turn red in embarrassment.

"Ahh, there's the Kim I know." Jayson teased.

"Shego, here can you hold Kasy for a moment." Kim said as she handed the young girl to her partner and wife and began to turn red for a different reason.

As they watched an irate Kim chase Jayson down the street with a large wooden mallet, that she had some how procured, in her hands, Wade asked, "So how long do you think their chase will last?"

"I don't know. It depends on how long your friend there can run." Shego answered.

One hour later the card game was finally able to start after everyone had arrived, including a slightly less irate Kim and a profusely sweeting and panting Jayson.

"Ok, I promise to not call you a MILF again." Jayson pleaded. "But I'm not used to Kim Possible being married with children, to another women at that."

"Everyone I want you to meet Jayson." Kim said as she introduced the new newest annoyance in her life to her gathered friends.

"Yo." Jayson said.

"How do you know him KP?" Ron asked.

"I don't. He's just the newest annoyance in my life. Ask Drakken and Wade about him."

"He he, yeah about that, I turn you over to the more knowledgeable Dr. Wade." Drew chuckled.

"Oh no you don't Drew, after that bebe incident, I've had enough of your grief for this week. You tell them."

"Well you see it was a dark and stormy night," Drew began, "Wade and I were working on my greatest invention yet, the Worldwide Teleportation Facilitator..."

"The what?" Ron asked.

"WTF." Jayson supplied, which only caused Shego and Monique to groan.

"It's not your greatest invention Drew, we worked on it together." Wade added, "And it wasn't a dark and stormy night, it wasn't even night."

"Well how do you explain the lighting then?"

"Do they always bicker like an old married couple?" Jayson asked no one in particular.

"Since I've already heard this story, I'll get some snacks for us from the kitchen." Zita offered as she got up.

"Here let me help, I'll show you where I put the fresh snackage." Ron offered. However, as he began to rise from his seat, Bonnie grabbed him by the sleeve and quickly pulled him back down. "Sit, I'll go help her."

Watching this Jayson raised an eyebrow in a very Spock type of way as he asked, "When did he become a kept man?"

"Hello, eyes back on me, I'm telling the story here." Drew demanded. "So as I was saying, a lighting bolt of approximately 1.26gigawatts…"

"Arrgghh! Dr. D, will you quit with the dramatics and just tell the stupid story." Shego yelled.

"So the lighting activate the WTF and Jayson's car comes crashing trough it and we find out that in his world we all exist as cartoons." Drew finished in a rush. After working and living with Shego and her literally fiery anger for so many years was as well conditioned as any of Pavlov's dogs.

Feeling all eyes turn towards him, Jayson held up his hands and asked, "What?"

"We're a cartoon in your world?" Will Du asked sounding incensed.

"Yeah, but its great show. I like it a lot."

"So our reality is a cartoon in your world. Statistically speaking, in a universe of infinite dimensions, then anything is possible. No pun intended." Justine said in thought.

"That's my girl." Felix said proudly.

"You and Felix?" Jayson asked in confusion, "Not what I would have expected."

"Something wrong with that?" Justine asked defensively. After the ups and downs she and Felix had suffered in their relationship she was now very quick to defend it.

"No nothing like that. It's just that the KP universe I know, neither you or Felix were dating anyone. Unless you count the fics I've read, then I've seen some strange combos. I read one that had Justine and Brick Flagg as a pair."

"Brick…" Felix stammered. "And me." Justine finished. It was hard to tell who looked more disturbed by that revelation.

"Yep. I've seen some KiGo's, guess they weren't too far off the mark," as Jayson looked at the two women.

"There are fics about us?" Kim asked.

"With some great quotes, you had a good one Kim, something about Shego and Jolly Ranchers." At this both Kim and Shego blushed furiously. "Or Kim and Josh." Which caused Kim's face to twist up in revulsion.

As Bonnie and Zita came back from the kitchen with trays full of snacks, Ron asked about those two.

"Nah, didn't see any fics about those two. But there were plenty about Ron and Kim."

"See Ron, some body loves you." Kim joked as she wrapped her arms around him, much to Shego and Bonnie's annoyance.

"Uhh. Nothing personal Kim, but dating you would be like dating my sister." To which Kim stuck her tongue out at him.

"That's ok, some of my favorites were about Ron and Shego." Jayson said admitting his little secret.

It was now Shegos turn to throw her arms around Ron. "See Kim, I told you he was the perfect man."

"What about me?" Monique asked.

"Aside from a single fic of you with Kim, I've seen a you and Ron, complete with MHC appearance, and you and Felix. But nothing with you and Du though." Jayson enlightened the fellow card players to both Ron and Monique's embarrassment.

"You must have read a fic or two about Bonnie?" Ron asked hoping to turn attention away from him.

"Oh sure, there are fics about ole Bon Bon. Everything from her being a totally bitc...

"Excuse me language." Zita said as she smacked Jayson on the back of his head.

"..bad guy, to her dating a member of team Go." Jayson continued.

"How did you know about me crushing on Ed "to dating Ron," which caused Bonnie to smile, "to dating Kim." This time it was harder to tell who was more mortified, Kim or Bonnie, as both girls looked ready to wretch. But this was soon surpassed by the look of disgust on everyone's face when Jayson mentioned the Rokken fic he read.

"Are you sure about this guy? He sounds like he belongs in Innsworth along with Drakken." Will added flatly.

"Oh don't get me wrong, I'm not nearly as demented as some of the people who have produced pics."

"Pics?" Everyone asked.

"Yeah, like the ones Zimmerman makes, they are sexy to say the least. Especially the KiGos." While Shego's small blush, and Kim's large blush, weren't unexpected, the sight of Wade blushing caught people by surprise.

"He he, you know." Jayson chuckled. "Which one's your favorite Wade? I like the one…."

III.

Fifteen minutes later.

"I'm sorry, I really am." Jayson apologized, again.

"What do you think Shego? Has he learned his lesson?" Kim asked.

Shego brought her hand to her chin as though in thought. "I don't know Kim." Shego said as she walked up to Jayson, who was now bound in rope and hanging upside down from the ceiling. She then placed her finger against his forehead and gave him a gentle shove.

"Oh please not again." Jayson complained as he began to swing back and forth. "Wade, Drew a little help please."

"Sorry Jayson, your on your own." The dual geniuses said together. They both realized that now was the perfect time to get back at him for the practical jokes they had suffered at his hands.

"Ron, please tell them I'm really sorry."

"Sorry Jayson, but you dug your own hole here." Ron said as he looked up from here he was huddled with Justine, Felix, and Bonnie.

"Ron, what you guys doing?" Kim asked noticing the huddled group for the fist time.

"Oh nothing KP."

"Ron." Kim threatened. After being his best friend for so many years she could tell when he was lying.

"Trust me Kim, you wouldn't be interested."

"Oh wow, check this one out." Felix exclaimed.

Storming over to the huddled group Kim soon saw what they were looking at. Apparently they had decided to see if what Jayson had told them about what was on the Internet was true.

"Sick and wrong!" Kim yelled. "I can't believe you guys are looking to see if there really are Kigo pics of us on the Internet."

"Felix suggested it." Ron whined.

"Ha ha, at least we know Ron is still a healthy boy." Shego joked as she gave the still suspended Jayson another push. But then her face darkened as a thought crossed it. "Wade!"

"Yeah Shego?" Wade answered as his head poked up from the huddled mass of himself, Drakken, Will, Monique, and Zita.

"You'd better be able to tell me you're not doing the same thing on your PDA."

"Uhh, wow would you look at the time. Come on Drew, I need to get you back to the clinic so they can adjust your meds again." Wade said nervously as he began to back towards the front door.

IV.

One hour later.

"Shego, don't forget to let Jayson go." Kim reminded.

"Why? It's not like he's going any where."

"Yeah, but Wade and Drew are getting ready to leave for the night. That and I don't want to hear him complaining all night."

"All right. I'll let him go." She complained as she neared the top of the stairs.

At the last minute Shego turned around and fired a plasma burst that singed the rope that was suspending Jayson and began a slow burn of the fibers.

"Did you let him go?" Kim asked as her green skinned plasma wielding sexy wife entered their little love nest.

"Yes I did."

"Did you set him down gently?"

"Well I.." Shego was interrupted by the sound of a large thud and a loud 'OW'.

"Sheeegggooo." Kim complained.

"What?" Shego asked innocently.

"I'm okay." Jayson announced as he unsteadily rose to his feet and staggered towards the door. Descending the steps of the front porch Jayson made his way to the street just in time to see the receding tail lights of one of Wade's and Drew's hovercraft.

"Guess I'm walking." Jayson muttered to himself and soon began to softly sing too himself.

_Trailer for sell or rent_

_Rooms to let...fifty cent._

_No phone, no pool, no pets_

_I ain't got no cigarettes_

_Ah, but... two hours of pushin' broom_

_Buys an eight by twelve four-bit room_

_I'm a man of means by no means_

_King of the road..._

AN2: Well I hope everyone is enjoying the madcap humor here, and I promise that the next chapter while send Jayson home and end the insanity. My choice of song at the end was two fold, one; because Jayson's having to walk home, and two; if your old enough you may remember back in the day when the Disney channel used to air what it called DTV (their version of MTV) that they would marry up Disney animation clips with songs from the 60's or older. But now Disney claims that they will not show smoking in any of their productions, which means the odds of little gems like Goofy chasing down a cigarette to King of the Road may never see the light of day again. Just one more reason that Disney is the evil empire.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: And now I present to you, right now, right here, for your very much entertainment, the last chapter of my fic. As I wrote this I began to put more and more parodies/spoofs in to it, see if you can find them all. Also, as promised there are only three parts to this fic and I'm sticking to that. However, that doesn't mean that there isn't the chance that ole' Jayson may make another appearance. But after this I think he deserves a vacation.

KIM POSSIBLE: SO THE SELF INSERTION

Part three: Dream On

I.

"Morning Jayson. Glad to see that you made it back from Kim's last night." Zita greeted as she entered the lair's kitchen.

"Morning. Oh and thanks for waiting for me before you guys took off last night." Jayson replied sarcastically.

"Sorry, but I was outvoted, besides I didn't have the keys to the hovercraft."

"Well the exercise was good for me." Jayson replied with a shrug as he topped off his cup of coffee. "Care for some breakfast?"

"Are you offering?" Zita asked.

"Sure. I make a great omelet," Jayson answered before picking another line of conversation, "Are Kim and Shego always like that?"

"An omelet sounds good, and what do you mean by like that?"

"So high strung, I mean come on was it really necessary that they suspend me upside down for two hours? I thought for sure that married life would have mellowed them a bit. Oh and two eggs or three?"

"Those two are always Type A people, besides you did bring it on your self. Just two please. Trying to watch my figure."

"Well if you need a break from that then let me know and I'll pick up the slack." Jayson joked as he cracked the eggs in to the pan.

The two made small talk as Jayson cooked their breakfasts. By the time he had finished his cup of coffee he had two plates with an omelette each ready to eat.

"Ladies first," Jayson offered.

Taking a bite of the omelet, Zita's taste buds were overwhelmed by a flood of favor she hadn't had, well since the last time she had some of Ron's cooking.

"Wow, this is great. It's as good as anything I've had that Ron made."

"I'll take that as a complement then. But I must warn you, don't expect all of my meals to come out like this. My omelets are outstanding, but I was taught how to make them from a friend of mine. The rest of my food only comes out as passable."

"I can taste the egg, the cheeses, the onions, the mushrooms, the peppers, the ham, and the salsa, but there's something else in there I can't identify." Zita said as she savored the last of her breakfast.

"Well you three kept Kim and Shego a secret from so I'll return the favor now. Besides if I told you what the secret ingredient was then it wouldn't be a secret now would it." Jayson smiled.

"No I guess not." Zita smiled back.

II.

Later that day, in a lair that lately was know as Lipsky and Load LLC, (some people also referred to it as the place where there is doom and gloom as things go boom in Drakken's Lab), the two geniuses for whom the company was named for were hard at work on getting the WTF to work.

"Okay Drew, lets try it again." Wade said tiredly. The two had been working on fixing the WTF for the past 24 hours straight and were making steady if slow progress.

"All right, but after this test I say we should call it quits for the day."

"Agreed."

"Here we go."

With a flip of the switch electrons began to surge through the wiring and components of the WTF again, and again the same result as the four previous attempts occurred. Energy crackled and arced across sections of the WTF as smoke began to billow from burnt out equipment. After the first two attempts Wade had reset the fire suppression system so that it wasn't triggered every time they had an abortive attempt to activate the WTF. But just because it didn't dispense halon gas didn't mean that the alarm didn't sound, which made it difficult to be heard as he shouted, "Turn it off! Turn it off!" and failed his arms around like Han Solo.

As the smoke cleared Drew did the only thing he could think to do, "Jayson!" He shouted.

"Yeah." Jayson replied as he emerged from the cloud of smoke still lingering around the WTF.

"What, where, how?" Drew sputtered. "What were you doing so close to the WTF?"

"When I saw it was about to blow up like it did the last six times I decided to get a good seat to watch the fireworks. Hey explosions excite me." Jayson replied nonchalantly.

As Wade watched this exchange between the two he simply muttered to himself, "That boy just ain't right."

"Well make you self useful and clean this place up so we can start again." Drew demanded.

"Ok, but I think I can save you some time on your next attempt."

"If I the great Doctor Drew Lipsky..."

"You're not a doctor Drew, give it up already." Wade shouted in frustration.

"If I the great Drew Lipsky can't figure out why this thing didn't work then how could you possibly know?"

"Tell you what, I'll call you Dr. Underhill if that makes you feel any better, and because your missing this," Jayson replied as he held up a simple ¾ inch screw. "I found this on the floor, so either it goes to the WTF, or it goes to you. Either way this loose screw would explain a few things."

III.

Later that evening as Drakken sat in his favorite recliner and nursing both a scotch on the rocks as well as his pride. It was bad enough that he hadn't been able to get the WTF working after all this time, but then to be shown up by that; that annoyance of a person who wrecked their wonderful WTF in the first place, was too much for Drakken.

"Jayson can go fu..."

"Excuse me, language." Zita seemed to say out of know where.

".. himself." Drakken said as he bolted up right in his chair. How did Zita do that? He thought that she had gone home hours ago.

IV.

Zita answered the phone on the second ring and listened to the person on the other end for a few seconds before slamming the phone down. The uncharacteristic use of violence against a poor defenseless phone and the stream of profanity, half of which was in Puerto Rican, that was coming from her mouth told Jayson that something was wrong.

"You okay Zita?" Jayson asked as he walked up to the receptionist's desk. The glare that Zita shoot his way was almost enough to make him stop considering his friends well being and start to reconsider his own.

"I'm sorry Jayson." Zita apologized as her glare softened. "But it's just something personal."

"It must be considering how much profanity I just heard you use. I think Popeye is blushing right now."

Zita couldn't help but to smile a bit at the joke. Jayson was right that all was not well with her. Given how she was always the reminder to everyone else about using profanity it must have been a surprise to hear such a stream of it coming from her mouth.

"It's my ex-husband. He some how got my number and has been calling me here and harassing me."

"Oh."

"Could you watch the desk for me please, I really need to take a walk for a moment and collect myself.

"Sure thing."

As Jayson enjoyed watching the retreating form of Zita inspiration suddenly struck him. Now all he had to do was see if he could the assistance of…

V.

"Bonnie, could you help me with something?" Jayson asked nicely.

"Why? What's in it for me?" The pretty brunette asked flately.

"A nice dinner and all you can drink."

Bonnie cocked and eyebrow at this, "Are you asking me out?"

"Nope."

"Okay, what do I have to do then?"

"Oh nothing much, just let me set you up, so you can set your date up."

As Bonnie sat at the outdoor table of the restaurant sipping on her apple martini she wondered for the, sixth; eighth; maybe tenth time that day how Jayson had convinced her to do this. Granted he was paying for her meal, and her drinks. Heck he had even been able to procure a really nice car for her to use. Still it was the fact that she was doing this to help Zita that galled her. Its not that she held anything personal against the girl since she had below Bonnie's notice in high school, but the easy way that she and Ron would hang out, chat, and sometime flirt, drove Bonnie mad.

The former cheerleader and aspiring actress brunette soon had her thoughts interrupted by the arrival of her "date" for the night. As she greeted him, Bonnie noticed that he was still wearing his wedding band. Cocky little SOB she thought to herself, maybe this night won't be so bad after all. As the date wore on Bonnie was able to distract her date by flashing a little skin so she could slip the pill she had been given in to his drink.

After dinner, as the two were leaving the restaurant, Bonnie faked as couple of stumbles. "Oh I think I've had too much to drink. Would you mind driving me home?" Bonnie asked as she batted her eyes.

"Sure, I've only had a couple of drinks so I'm good. Which car is yours?"

"My hero," Bonnie gushed as she dug in to her purse for her keys, "Here, it's the blue Mercedes CLK500."

As Bonnie and her date got in to her car and pulled out of the parking lot, a shadowy person watched this, placed a call on his cell phone and began phase two of Certain Obnoxious People Suck (COPS).

Officer Hobble didn't know what to expect, but the anonymous type had been that there was a possible drunk driving coming his way. Seeing a blue Mercedes pass him in the other lane that matched the description he had been given, officer Hobble pulled a U-turn and pulled over the car. Approaching it he found a man and a woman inside of it who were arguing.

"I told you that you were too drunk to drive." Bonnie yelled.

"Shut up woman, you said no such thing." The man yelled.

"Yes I did, you're just to drunk to remember."

Their argument was interrupted by officer Hobble tapping on the window with his night stick.

"Excuse me folks, but I received a tip of a drunk driver in a vehicle with a description matching your car. Mind if I ask if you've had anything to drink tonight?"

"No officer, I don't mind." The man began as he flicked his cigarette out the window.

"Oh sure, lie to him like you always do when you drink too much."

"Be quite woman," The man glared at Bonnie before facing officer Hobble again. "I don't know what she's talking about officer, I've only had two drinks tonight and that was with dinner."

Officer Hobble didn't know if the man was telling the truth or not but he certainly smelled alcohol on his breath. "Sir, I do smell alcohol on your breath, would you mind stepping out of the car for a field sobriety test?"

"Oh why even bother, you just know you're going to jail." Bonnie taunted.

"Shut up woman!" The man yelled as he got out of the car. "Officer, that woman is loco. I only meet her tonight for a dinner date."

"I see," Officer Hobble answered in a noncommittal way as he began the field sobriety test. After all of the standard tests came back inconclusive, the police officer turned to the most reliable tool he had, the breathalyzer. "Sir I need you to blow in to this device please."

"No way man, I'm not drunk." The man protested.

"He always says that." Bonnie shouted from the car.

"Sir, its your choice, you can either take the breathalyzer test here and now, or I can arrest you for refusing it and get a blood sample from you at the station."

Already annoyed at the situation, the man grabbed the device and began to blow in to it as if he had experience in such matters in the past. Once he as done he handed it back to officer Hobble confident of the results.

"Point 13. Sir that is well over the legal limit, I'm going to have to take you in for DUI."

"What!" The man yelled, "I'm not drunk! That bitch, she set me up. I told you she was loco." The man yelled as he began to make his way towards Bonnie.

Bonnie simply gave the man a self satisfied smirk as if she had known that he was going to fail the breathalyzer. But what he didn't know was that Bonnie had in fact set him up when she slipped that pill in to his drink that was designed by that strange blue guy that Kim used to fight all the time. It was designed to give a false alcohol reading with out impairing a person's motor functions. However, as the man began to angrily approach her, Bonnie quickly slipped in to her new role, that of victim.

"No, stay away from me!" Bonnie shrieked as she began to cower in fear of the man.

"I'll teach you to mess with me like that! A woman needs to know her place!"

See the man's violent reaction and fearing both that it was fueled by alcohol and for the hysterical young woman's safety, officer Hobble pulled out his taser.

VI.

Jayson was in the kitchen of Lipsky and Load LLC making breakfast and watching the morning news when he heard Zita enter.

"Hey Zita, want something to eat?"

"I'm really not hungry, but thanks though."

"No big. Hey would you do me a favor and turn up the TV?" Jayson asked as he cooked something on the stove.

Twisting the knob on the old rabbit ear sporting TV, Zita sat down with a cup of coffee and was only half way paying attention to the news when she heard something that caught her attention.

"In other news, early this morning a local man, later identified as Jose Padilla, was arrested for DUI by the Middleton police. Here we have footage of the arrest from an armature video photographer." The bimbo bleach blonde blue eyed babe said with a gleam in her eye before the screen cut to a picture of officer Hobble using his taser on Jose several times in order to subdue the irate man, who began to scream like a little girl, or a certain college kid from the University of Florida.

"He was arrested for driving under the influence, resisting arrest, and attempted assault on a young woman he claimed was his date."

"But that's my ex," Zita said in astonishment. "And he deserved every second of that, but how did it get recorded. I wish I knew how to get a copy of that tape."

Letting lose a long, large and less than dignified yawn, Jayson placed a plate with eggs and bacon and toast on it, and a small video cassette on the table as he sat down. "Tell you what, if you get me a cup of coffee I'll tell you where you can get a copy of this tape."

VII.

"Ok Drew, fire it up." Wade shouted.

Across the lab, Drew typed in a series of commands on his computer and began to flip several switches as he began to start the warm up initialization sequence for the WTF. After about ten minutes nearly all of the indicator lights had changed from red to green.

"We're at 88 power." Drew announced. "91, 93, 95, approaching absolute boarder line. 97, 98, 98.5, 98.87, 98.994." He continued to read off for the benefit of the audience in the lab this day.

"Circuits are holding, dimensional sync is nearly complete, harmonics are stable." Wade added.

"Do you think it will work this time?" Zita asked as she stood in the observation area.

"I hope so. But it does look like it's working this time." Jayson answered.

"But what if it doesn't? This is the twentieth time they've tried it in the past two months."

"I don't know. I suppose I may have to accept the fact that maybe it will never work and that I'm stuck here."

"99.996 of power. Just a few more seconds and we'll cross the absolute boarder line." Drew shouted.

"Everything is still stable Drew, go for it." Wade encouraged.

With a flip of the switch the last extra amount of energy flowed in to the WTF and soon a whirling blue light began to form in the center of the device.

"There's feed back in the harmonics, I'm losing dimensional sync, connection circuits are breaking, the whole thing is becoming unstable." Wade suddenly shouted.

"Uhh, trying to compensate." Drew responded.

"Feedback is increasing. We're losing cohesion."

Watching the back and forth between the two geniuses as the WTF began to spark as the whirling blue light in the center began to flicker and electricity began to arc all around the device, Jayson made up his mind. He was tired of this, of all the failures and watching the chances of him going home getting smaller and smaller with each attempt. Something had to be done, and now was the time to do it. Leaving the safety of the observation area, Jayson made his way towards the malfunctioning WTF.

"Instability increasing, circuits are beginning to overload. We need to shut it down Drew." Wade shouted.

"I can't! We're suffering from a perpetual runaway cascade."

"If we don't shut it down it's going to go up."

Despite all the chaos around him Jayson managed to reach the WTF. He then raised his right hand and slammed the bottom of his fist against it in one swift move. Suddenly the blue whirling light stabilized, the arcing electricity stopped, and the WTF hummed like newly tuned up 351 big block V8 engine.

Seeing that things had stopped going crazy and had suddenly improved, both Drew and Wade poked their heads out from behind their workstations to see a fully functional and stable WTF. They also saw Jayson standing there giving them two thumbs up and saying "AAAA."

VIII.

Jayson stood there looking at the whirling blue light in front of him that emanated from the WTF as if he was mesmerized by it. In a lot of ways it reminded him of the swirling blue time vortex from the movie The Final Countdown.

"Are you sure you want to try this?" Wade asked.

"Yeah. I trust you guys, so if you say it will work then it will work. I mean what's the worse that it can do? Send me to a dimension where everyone has their bodies turned inside out?"

"We aren't even entirely sure about that either. To be honest we..ow!" Drakken yelped as Wade kicked him in the shin. "What was that for?"

"Drew, are you trying to get him to change his mind?"

"Well I was just being honest with him about his chances."

"Thanks Drew, but I would rather not know at this point."

"Well no matter how you looked at it our chances of getting rid of him are pretty good." Shego whispered to Kim.

"Baahh I heard that." Jayson retorted.

"Thanks for helping me out." Zita said as she gave him a quick hug.

"And thanks for the dinner theater." Bonnie added.

"Speaking of dinner, here, I thought you might like a Naco for the road since they don't have any in your world."

"Thanks Ron. You're all heart, no matter what Bonnie says about you."

With one last wave of his hand Jayson hoped in to his car, started it up, and drove towards the swirling blue light of the WTF.

IX.

Jayson awoke to got ready for another day. In the back of his mind he had a few memories of a dream he had had. Something about cartoon characters and a laboratory where there were things the world had never seen before and was full of doom and gloom as things go boom. Not only that, but in addition to taste of TexMex lingering heavily in his mouth, he seemed to have this irrational fear of being hung upside down. However, by the time he had grabbed a quick shower and partook of the free continental breakfast he had forgotten about his dream. Hopping in to his car Jayson began to drive down the road. He was in his happy place, he was so happy that he indulged himself and began to sing to himself. He was so happy that he didn't see the bright light appear in front of him.

ALTERNATE ENDING: I considered having this as my ending instead, but it doesn't leave the reader thinking like the other ending does. Also if you aren't familiar with the Tenchi Muyo series then you probably won't get the joke.

Jayson got in to his car, started it up, and gave one last wave to everyone before accelerating towards the glowing light of the WTF. As he got closer to the device the intense light forced him to close his eyes as his car entered it and promptly passed out. When he regained conciseness Jayson found himself restrained and laying on an examination bed of some kind. Lifting his head as much as he could, he saw another young man, really more of a teen, also restrained against some sort of device by metal manacles.

"Ahh I see your awake. Good, I'm curious as to who it was that came through my subspace portal window."

Craning his head around Jayson soon saw what appeared to be a young, and very petite woman with full, long red hair dressed in a nurses uniform approach him.

"Who, who are you?" Jayson asked.

"You can call me Little Washu. Now if you'll just lay still at let me do all the work, I can get that sample I need from you." The nurse known as Little Washu said as she slapped on a rubber glove.


End file.
